You Did Not Break Me.

I like to tell you a story

I don’t know if you’ll believe me or

If you’ll just think it’s a figment of my imagination

In reality I don’t really care

But I will still tell you

I was in love once and I realized

That this was the best that could happen to me

To be in love and feel that every moment of your life

Must be dedicated to the person you’re with

That every second and breath spent must be for them

I felt happy I felt good I felt amazing

Almost like I was a bird and I could fly

Until the reality dawned upon me

I started to see the chinks in my armour

I started to be overcome by my insecurity

I started to get overwhelmed by my expectations

I started to feel like I was about to lose all of this

And so I decided to fuck it up once again in life

I decided that I didn’t deserve this and that I

Wasn’t worth it

All of a sudden all I could think of was how to get away

How to run away

How not to be where I was

How not to feel what I was feeling

I was scared that I will just feel so lost without her

That I must leave now

That I need to find myself before I give myself up

That this feeling of love will not last forever and that

It will consume me

Little did I know that behind my back

That other person had already decided to leave me

While I was left to battle my demons and I could see them rising

I was left to fight a battle that I had not seen coming

I was being left for what, I don’t know

But I was being left

Left for nobody, left for nothing

Left as nobody, left as nothing

By the time I realized this, it was far too late

I didn’t get it for time beyond I was left

Today I wish I could bash their head into a wall

And then wail over their broken head

But it still doesn’t help to imagine that

Every key on a piano feels like it was a teardrop in my heart

I continued to battle these fears like I was under a spell

A spell from the Scarecrow

Like whatever I did, I was not in the right direction

That this was not a boat I could row

Caught up alone in the middle of the ocean

I didn’t know where to go

So I fled the scene and told myself

That nothing ever again will come

Remotely as close to me feeling the way I did

The way I did before and the way I did after

Years gone by, I have at times

Felt like I was wrong in feeling so

But I stand today again where I do

And realize that that was the truth

Nothing ever will come even close to me feeling so

The way I did before and the way I did after

I have decided, no, concluded that nothing

Can affect me to believe otherwise

No songs from Linkin Park

No songs of love

No songs of despair can repair or prepare this soul

To feel any different from what it does today

My soul has arrived and my soul has realized

That this what I am meant to be

That this is what I am supposed to be

I keep saying me, but that’s the lesson to be

I have to learn to be selfish and not selfless

I have to learn to that if I be a martyr

The world sees a victim

I have to learn that there is no glory in giving alone

As then you get left alone

There may however be glory in living

And living for yourself

Nothing is better than keeping your soul alive

Nothing is lovelier than loving yourself

Call it selfish, doesn’t matter

I still live longer

I still live happier

Its my lesson to learn

Its not yours

Someday it will be

Maybe it already has been

I don’t need you to love me

I need me to love me

And anybody else can feel differently

I don’t care

I will continue to listen to the songs that i do

I will continue to feel deprived, let down,

left behind, left alone

But I will do so, cause I like to

Not cause I have to

I like to be alone, I like to be on my own

I don't need company

I don't need another one

I don't need THE ONE

I AM THE ONE

And I didn't know that till yet

But now I do

So Fuck YOU!