Before anyone loses it, this post has nothing to do with God.
Having said that, what I mean is, that the traffic in Bangalore is so fearless that it feels like it must not be fearing any God, in fact it is so fearless that it must be an athiest being! And I call it a being, because Bangalore's traffic is a class apart. Its not your Mumbai traffic that is lazy and is accomodating of the fact that there will be a traffic jam at a particular point and time and its part of life. You don't want to be on the road, then catch the train...
The Bangalore traffic is also unlike the Delhi/ NCR traffic. No one cares what car you are driving in Bangalore. Which is unlike Delhi! Plus, the roads in Bangalore are yet to be the same as Delhi, so the focus is not the same on what is on the road, its more, bro if there is a road, then we can talk about whats on it!
Bangalore traffic is an aggressive traffic! Its ruled by the two wheelers and amongst them, the gearless are the Gods. The traffic rule in Bangalore is not a function of the vehicle or the road or the area or the ethnicity, its a simple question of do you have it in you to maneouver yourself through the traffic?
Everyone who has been to Bangalore knows that this is one city, that is famous for one thing - One Ways! The road you take to get to office is not the one you take to get home. Given this premise, it pays to know the roads and the in roads. And this is where, the two wheel rider rules! Any point in the day and at any point on the road, 50% of the traffic is 2 wheeler. And any rider in Bangalore knows that, it takes skill to get through every stretch of the road! And I know it first hand, cause I ride to work everyday.
Now Bangalore's morning traffic has something that I like to call 'The Office Lane'. This is the 2 feet space on the left side of the road. The side you are not supposed to overtake from, and the side that is everyone's favourite to do just that. Some times the space is less than 2 feet, and this is when the pedestrian walkways, become a part of this lane. It takes skill to ride through this lane. Firstof all, its the skill of spotting the right entry point. You cannot be just driving in this lane throughout. This lane comes into existence, when the traffic is otherwise at a standstill, especially at the traffic signals. Once you have entered the lane, you can cover as much as 10 minutes worth of distance, while the rest of the traffic is in a standstill. This helps most, when you know that a junction will be packed at a particular time and you have no choice but to go through it. So you will see, that at almost all the signals, the two wheelers will be trickling into every available empty space, like a slithering liquid, trying to not let go of a single opportunity to flow forward.
The Office Lane is not for the chicken hearted! Oh no. If you don't have the skills nor the will, then don't get into the lane. You will be blocking others and are a potential hazard. Your not moving, will cause someone else behind you to become more daring and find a way past you. Its a slithering liquid. If you solidify, doesn't mean it will too. In the attempt to go past you, chances are that either you will be bumped, or told to move, or the person will attempt a dangerous over take. Essentially, anyone who doesn't know how to work the Office Lane, is a traffic hazard.
But these clogged junctions are not what defines the Bangalore traffic. To me, intrinsically, Bangalore is always racing. Some are racing against time, while most, are racing against each other. Everyday, as I go to work, I am either racing my clock, and on days when I am not, someone else decides to race against me. Its not that simple though, racing against someone in traffic. Firstly, its not an announced race. Its more understood. Someone cuts your way in the traffic, you can either hurl curses at them or decide to cut them back. When you decide the latter, you have announced that you are here to challenge. From there on, till the time you are on the same road, it matters who is ahead. Secondly, most of the time, you wouldn't hurl abuses. And even if you do, you will still end up saying, "I'll fucking show that fucker!" So the race is now declared.
Once the race is on, everything comes into play. If I was to ask you to guess who wins, or rather, what kind of machine wins, most will say, the more powerful one. You are right. But this race in the traffic, is not about testing the machine, and thus the outcome is not a function of the machine. Its the rider. And beleive me, the gearless, always beleive thet they will win. Oh my god, everytime I see a race, the gearless, followed closely by the zippies (RX-100), always move like they own the road. Its facinating to see that a 'scooty', is trying to compete against a Yamaha RX-15. and its even more facinating to see the scooty win!
2 wheelers apart, the traffic also displays various kinds of car drivers. Thecab driversare the most daring here. The autorickshaws not as bad as New Delhi...
However the worst kinds are the 'safe' drivers. I mean c'mon now! You have a kilometer of space ahead of you, move that shit! I find myself often saying to myself on the road - Re koode ne chala le, na road se hata le - either move that trash or move out of the road. Add to that, drivers seeking directions! In the time of gps, how difficult is it to use your smartphone and get directions in advance, or at least stop by the side and look them up. Why on earth woukd you stall traffic and ask for directions in the midst of the office rush. I urge all the car drivers, be safe, but not at the expense of others! Its very irritating when you are riding at 50kmph and have to screech to a halt, because the car in front is being safe at a speedbraker by slowing down to 5kmph, 100 meters before the approach!
Still, accidents or bumps are a rarity in Bangalore. You dont see too many cars bumped in Bangalore, unlike Delhi or even Mumbai.
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