New day..new thoughts

till yestarday i dint wanna be a dog...today i wish i was a dog...put me on a leash if u want...punch me i'll bleed...m not strong...
"i want u to be strong"
"my strength lies in you...m strong against ne1 else...but not you..."

words that keep ringing in my head....

someday soemwhere we'll be together again...
u'll take time and i'll take mine....
but we'll be together....

Awrite

I guess that this is where we've come to and if u dont want to then u dont have to beleive me.
But i wont be there when u go down...just so u know now...ur on ur own now beleive me.

i cant help u fix ur self...but at least i can say i tried...m sorry but i gotta move on wid my own life....
i tear my heart open...i sho myself shine...n myweakness is..that i care too much
and my scars remind me that the past is real
i showed u my feelings
but u didn't understand....

but in the end it doesn't even matter!!!

all of these are songs playing somewhere in my head....what to do...thats how my brain feels.
gotta get thru...
cant be a dog.
can b a fool in love
but not a dog

What am i getting....???

so here i am claiming to the world that i'll wait till the end of time? but there's a part of me askin me a persisitent question....why? for what? what if the wait is endless.....
i say i'll wait. but for who...someone who treats me like tissue...when needed then i am used to wipe tears...or snort! and the end in both the cases is....the bin. this is what i have become and i have let myslef to be reduced to that and still i gon on with it. coz i choose to....why? someone please answer this question for me!!! i love her and she knows that...she sees it...she feels it...yes i fucked up but do i not deserve a second chance...even now when there is a conflict in my mind i blame myself...
i cry...when angels deserve to die......
but why??
u know how it is...all the times m just asked to leave...bluntly...and i still take it...tellin myself at least she talked to me...
dead as dead can be....
am i really an enemy to you? why shud u treat me like me one then?? c'mon dude...u know what i am made of and dont sya u don't coz if u dont then no one does.....i cry every night thinkin of you but what do i get in return....an endless wait to see ur face and that too is so costly that i lay myself open to all humiliation....i take it coz i love you and i take it as my punishment for having hurt you...but please don't be so inhuman....
take my life
let me be a scapegoat
ready to be sacrificed at the alter..
let me be a lamb..
and offer me as the sacred
and smear my blood on all the doors
so that all those who tread astray can know their fate.
but please
dont make me learn to face the knife
dont make me learn to listen to music
i dont want to be strong to face anything
i want to be weak
u arrived when i was weak
and u left m,e only weaker
why must you do this...
why why why why why??
i wanna close my eyes and never open them again
if that's what u wish
then all u gotta do is tell me
and i will
but not this...
not tears where angels deserve to die...
please i love you
i do....
and i regret all these things that i have done!!!
but why have u forsaken me
in ur eyes forsaken me
in ur eyes forsaken me
please.....
i love you.